A Night In

[singingdrummer]

 It all started with Ben tugging Meredith onto his lap, lips pressed against hers in a heated kiss. His hands roamed on her figure while his desire for her grew. He had wanted her ever since their first encounter at the bar but Ben never imagined something would actually become of it.

"I want you to know you're not some groupie to me, Meredith. I really want this with you."

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[highfidelity]

Meredith was oblivious. She'd showered, changed and emerged from the bathroom with a pillow and some blankets for him to use. Not realizing what he'd stumbled into. "I'll leave these for you, and you can just use my bathroom," she said before she kept going into the kitchen. Time to make dinner. And try not to think about how awkward this was.

[singingdrummer]

"Okay. Thanks."

By then he had picked up the guitar, strumming to get a feel of it before he began playing one of the songs he'd found, singing softly.

[highfidelity]

The sound caught her attention from the kitchen, where she was putting dinner on, trying to portion it for the both of them. She was going to be a good host if nothing else. She paused and walked back into the living room, looking at him.

"You weren't supposed to ever notice that," she said, cluing him into the fact that she had never wanted him to know about her talents.

[singingdrummer]

"You'd want to keep all this hidden away? This is so much better than the stuff I've heard.. Your lyrics too."

Ben was both amazed and impressed at this revelation. No wonder she understood music so well.

[highfidelity]

"I tried, but never really went anywhere." She shrugged. "And once I got into the paper, I didn't want anyone saying I was only a critic because I was upset about my own career."

She settled on the arm of the couch. "It's been months since I've played, anyway." Hard to feel up to it or much of anything. She needed to heal that broken heart and to do that she'd have to open herself up to him again. She needed him even if she was scared to admit it.

[singingdrummer]

"Yeah.. I didn't have much of a motivation either."

Ben began to play something of his own this time. A song he wrote during his time away, once his inspiration returned. A song written for her.

[highfidelity]

She sat there and listened, ducking her head slightly to hide the blush. Her feelings for him had never died, but she was just so scared about being hurt again. Not sure what part of him was real and which was that rock star facade. "I thought you'd forget me," she said quietly after a moment. "I tried to forget you. Didn't really work."

[singingdrummer]

"I couldn't. My heart kept screaming at me to fix this.. To come back and tell you how I really feel. That's when I wrote this song."

He looked at her, smiling a little.

[highfidelity]

"I never stopped caring about you." She returned the smile of her own, as much as she could muster. "I'm just so scared you're going to leave again...so afraid of opening myself up to you or anyone like that again."

Looking downcast for a moment. "I felt so ashamed of myself after you left. Like I wasn't worth being touched. Like I was so naive."

[singingdrummer]

"I won't. I did a lot of thinking while I was gone."

Ben wanted to move closer and hold her, but he didn't know if she'd want him to.

"Meredith, you are worth so much. From that first night we made love I fell in love with you.. That hasn't happened in so long."

[highfidelity]

That earned him a sad smile. "I believe you," she said softly. "I just wish that had been enough for you to come back to me."

She cleared her throat. "I'll finish dinner, if you haven't eaten. Is there anything else you need?"

[singingdrummer]

"It should've been, if I had used my brain."

Ben scoffed at himself. "I wanted to come back to you a better man.. I had a lesson to learn."

"I am a little peckish, yeah. Don't need anything else."

[highfidelity]

She nodded and slipped into the kitchen to finish making them dinner, which she carried to her small dining room table. Meredith wished she knew something to say to him, anything to make it like it was before, but she was lost.

[singingdrummer]

"Smells delicious."

Ben took a seat by the table, glancing at her again. He had to be careful not to say too much, but at the same time he didn't want to leave important things unsaid.

"I missed you, Meredith.. Everyday."

[highfidelity]

"I tried not to think about it," she admitted. "If I did I just ended up hating myself and then hating you and I didn't want that."

She exhaled. "That was the most perfect night of my life and I just wanted it to never end."

[singingdrummer]

"It really was perfect."

Ben sighed, the memory of it making him smile sadly. He had never felt that good with a woman before. Every movement of their bodies together, every kiss. He fell hard for her.

[highfidelity]

"My dad always told me never to date a musician," she admitted with a soft laugh. Which he actually had, being one himself.

She reached across the table and took his hand, still searching for some kind of understanding. "What were you thinking?" she asked. "I just don't understand why you even thought that was a good idea."

[singingdrummer]

"It's all a blur.. Tim was there. That twat never takes no for an answer. To be honest, I have no idea how he became a friend of the band's anyway."

He squeezed her hand gently.

"To make matters worse.. When I went to say my goodbyes, he goes 'fancy seeing you alive.'"

[highfidelity]

"You need new friends."

She exhaled. She felt she owed him an explanation, too, for not giving him a second chance.

"Listen...I didn't want to leave you there. But all I could think was that you'd put on this whole act...that you were everything you'd told me that you weren't. And I was scared for my job, being in trouble if they knew I was involved with that. I knew it would hurt you, but I didn't know what else to do."

[singingdrummer]

"Trust me, I haven't spoken to them since. I've got new mates now."

Ben didn't hold it against her. He understood why she couldn't stay with him in that moment.

"I don't blame you, Meredith. I messed up.. It was an important wake up call, watching the love of my life walk away."

[highfidelity]

That was the second time he'd said that and both times it made her blush. "You really think that about me?" she said, a little floored. "But we were hardly together."

[singingdrummer]

"It's one of those movie moments.. You spend a short time with someone, and you just know. You know they're the one you want to spend your life with."

He caressed her hand with his thumb as he spoke.

[highfidelity]

"I think that's the most romantic thing anyone's said to me."

She was stunned by it. Stunned enough that she was totally ignoring the pot roast and just staring at him. Trying not to fall into those eyes again but it was hard because she saw the vulnerability there. So different from the last time she'd seen him. He wasn't trying to be charming; he was just being honest and she responded to that.

"I've always wondered what would happen to us," she admitted. "I'm just scared."

[singingdrummer]

"The feelings are here to stay."

He planted a soft kiss on her hand, looking into her eyes. He hadn't meant anything so much as the things he said to her.

"If you're willing to give this idiot a second chance, I'd do better."

[highfidelity]

She nodded slightly. "I'd like that," she admitted perhaps against her better judgment. "Just...this is going to be hard for me. I didn't just blame you for what happened, I blamed myself. Thinking I was missing something...wondering what I could have done to make you stay."