A Night In

[singingdrummer]

 It all started with Ben tugging Meredith onto his lap, lips pressed against hers in a heated kiss. His hands roamed on her figure while his desire for her grew. He had wanted her ever since their first encounter at the bar but Ben never imagined something would actually become of it.

"I want you to know you're not some groupie to me, Meredith. I really want this with you."

Comments

[singingdrummer]

"Yeah. We'll see how long Swipe lasts.. The way they were going when I still drummed for them, it's not looking too good."

He did follow her work. That, and the thought of coming back to her, kept him going through his recovery.

"Is there any chance you could sing to me sometime?"

[highfidelity]

The question caught Meredith off guard.

"I haven't done that in a long time," she said as she finished cleaning up and came back to the table. "It's really not that great."

[singingdrummer]

"Didn't mean to put you on the spot. I'm just curious after reading those brilliant lyrics of yours."

He glanced towards the guitar again. In his mind he could see performing together with her someday.

[highfidelity]

She looked down shyly. "I only tend to perform when there's an open mic night or something," she said. "Don't want people putting two and two together, you know? I keep that to myself." In her eyes she had no chance of making it professionally. If she had, she figured it would have happened years ago.

She nodded toward the living room, walking back out and sprawling herself on the couch. She was tired, and seeing him again had been emotionally draining as well. She just wanted to unwind.

[singingdrummer]

Ben sighed to himself, the guilty feeling creeping up again. He wanted so badly to join her and wrap his arms around her like he used to. Not to mention the desire to kiss her.

"If there's an open mic night someday soon, we should go."

[highfidelity]

"You think? I guess it could be fun," she commented, shifting over on the couch so there was room for him. "I mean, it's far from the most embarrassing thing we could do."

She was eyeing him, too, wondering what was going through his mind. She was cautious but that didn't mean she needed him to be on the whole other side of the room like she had some kind of restraining order.

"Are you coming?"

[singingdrummer]

"Yeah. Of course."

Ben laughed softly, making his way to the couch. It was a little comfier than the one he had at their special place.

"It could be fun. If you want, I could play the guitar. Or we'll get a small drum kit up there."

[highfidelity]

"We'll turn ourselves into a band." She snickered at the idea. Both of them were probably well out of their depth for that one, but she saw that his intentions were good. And it made her smile.

She sighed and inadvertently rested her head against his shoulder. "I just want the world to stop so I can get off for a while. Why does everything have to be so difficult."

[singingdrummer]

"You and me both, Meredith. Things get so messed up."

He carefully placed his arm around her shoulders, hoping she'd be okay with it.

Ben could imagine performing together with her. They'd make a great team.

[highfidelity]

She missed his touch. Missed it more than she let on. Just because she wasn't ready to sleep with him again didn't mean she didn't want him near her.

"You really do look better now," she said absently. She could still remember how he felt.

[singingdrummer]

"I'll keep this look, then."

He grinned a little, squeezing her shoulder gently. He really missed feeling her close to him, the touch of her lips against his.

[highfidelity]

"Please tell me there weren't other options." She chuckled, turning her head to look at him. There was that moment where she contemplated kissing him but she was hesitant. Was that really the best thing for them to do? Could she trust him with herself like that again? He had that way of making her come undone. Particularly when a couch was involved.

[singingdrummer]

"I don't know. I decided on this one fairly quickly."

He met her gaze, acknowledging the short distance between them. There was a strong urge to kiss her, but he didn't want to scare her off by making a move.

"Why must you be so beautiful?"

[highfidelity]

"The last time I felt beautiful was when I was with you."

She admitted it easily. He had that way of making her feel sexy, like she was the one woman he'd been waiting for all this time. She hadn't had anyone look at her the way that he had that night. She just needed to know it was real, and not just the latest in however many flings he'd had before he met her.

[singingdrummer]

"That night was something special. I knew it from the beginning.. I hadn't felt that with anyone before. Just two people wanting to make love and indulge in each other."

Ben had become all too used to the other kind of sex. Women throwing themselves at him for that quick, one-night pleasure. Meredith was so much more than that.

"It was real. Everything I said to you.. I meant it."

[highfidelity]

"Like that incredibly classy comment about my boobs?"

She teased gently, but sobered. She believed him. That was what made this hurt so much, was that it was easy to believe what he said and did. And that didn't jive at all with the stupid, reckless behavior he exhibited later. She couldn't believe that he could be that dumb, that fast.

"I just couldn't get it out of my head," she admitted. "Feeling like the latest one in however many women you've been with. While knowing you're the only man I've been with...or ever want to be with."

[singingdrummer]

"No, Meredith. You weren't one of many.. You were the one. You are the one."

What he did to her was unforgivable. But everything he said and did that night was genuine. He'd never forget the stupidity of his actions, let alone understand it.

"I was the biggest fucking twat. Who falls in love with a girl and then goes off overdosing at some dumb party?"

[highfidelity]

"Don't ask me. I wanted to ask you not to go," she said. "But I was afraid that would sound like I was too ashamed to meet your friends, or that you'd get too much grief about choosing me over them."

She had wanted to spend the rest of her night in his arms. But she had been trying to look out for him. Not well enough, apparently.

"It's why I don't do parties unless they're for work. Too many bad things that can happen. I thought I was going to lose you, for good."

[singingdrummer]

"You couldn't have known what would happen, Meredith. It's not your fault.. If I'd known Tim would be there, I would've politely declined. I'd had a few beers and apparently it's a potentially fatal mix with that particular pill."

The fact that Tim so willingly took his spot in the band made Ben extremely suspicious. Like he had planned it all.

"I fought.. because there was something worth living for. I was scared, I admit. I felt so weak and nauseous.. But then you came and saved my life."

[highfidelity]

"No matter how pissed I was at you, I wasn't going to leave you there to die."

She was adamant about that. Even if she'd almost punched one of his friends for trying to put his hands on her at the time. They hadn't taken kindly to her coming in and spoiling their party.

"You deserved so much better than those idiots, Ben. I'm glad you finally realized that."

[singingdrummer]

"I remember seeing you walk past everyone, pushing them off you. And that's pretty much my last clear memory from the night."

He owed her. It can't have been easy to go into a place like that and see him all messed up.

"It took me a while but I finally realized, yeah."

[highfidelity]

"Please don't make me do that again. It was terrifying." Meredith was a lover, not a fighter, and certainly not made for what she experienced that night. She exhaled, her body shivering a little just thinking about it.

"I'd be perfectly happy if we never spoke about this again."

[singingdrummer]

"Sorry. No more talking about it.. Let's focus on now and the future, whatever that may be."

He was getting bad flashbacks that he'd much rather ignore. Such stupidity would never happen in his life again. That's the promise he made during his time away.

"I learned my lesson, Meredith. I'm looking towards the future now."

[highfidelity]

"And your future apparently involves me and my tiny apartment?" she said with a chuckle. If he was going to stay long-term they were going to have fun, it wasn't ever built for anyone else to live in. Didn't mean they couldn't manage it, but they would be rather close to one another.

Of course, did he see that as a problem or a pleasant side benefit.

"I wish I had something more exciting to tell you but I don't. My whole life has been about work. The paper's keeping me busy and I kind of wanted the distraction."

[singingdrummer]

"It could. I didn't come here just to see my old neighbourhood, I came here for you."

Ben always imagined driving around the countryside with her, with the top down. He imagined them sharing a flat and making music.

"You deserved a bit of distraction after what happened."