A Night In

[singingdrummer]

 It all started with Ben tugging Meredith onto his lap, lips pressed against hers in a heated kiss. His hands roamed on her figure while his desire for her grew. He had wanted her ever since their first encounter at the bar but Ben never imagined something would actually become of it.

"I want you to know you're not some groupie to me, Meredith. I really want this with you."

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[singingdrummer]

"I don't know. I decided on this one fairly quickly."

He met her gaze, acknowledging the short distance between them. There was a strong urge to kiss her, but he didn't want to scare her off by making a move.

"Why must you be so beautiful?"

[highfidelity]

"The last time I felt beautiful was when I was with you."

She admitted it easily. He had that way of making her feel sexy, like she was the one woman he'd been waiting for all this time. She hadn't had anyone look at her the way that he had that night. She just needed to know it was real, and not just the latest in however many flings he'd had before he met her.

[singingdrummer]

"That night was something special. I knew it from the beginning.. I hadn't felt that with anyone before. Just two people wanting to make love and indulge in each other."

Ben had become all too used to the other kind of sex. Women throwing themselves at him for that quick, one-night pleasure. Meredith was so much more than that.

"It was real. Everything I said to you.. I meant it."

[highfidelity]

"Like that incredibly classy comment about my boobs?"

She teased gently, but sobered. She believed him. That was what made this hurt so much, was that it was easy to believe what he said and did. And that didn't jive at all with the stupid, reckless behavior he exhibited later. She couldn't believe that he could be that dumb, that fast.

"I just couldn't get it out of my head," she admitted. "Feeling like the latest one in however many women you've been with. While knowing you're the only man I've been with...or ever want to be with."

[singingdrummer]

"No, Meredith. You weren't one of many.. You were the one. You are the one."

What he did to her was unforgivable. But everything he said and did that night was genuine. He'd never forget the stupidity of his actions, let alone understand it.

"I was the biggest fucking twat. Who falls in love with a girl and then goes off overdosing at some dumb party?"

[highfidelity]

"Don't ask me. I wanted to ask you not to go," she said. "But I was afraid that would sound like I was too ashamed to meet your friends, or that you'd get too much grief about choosing me over them."

She had wanted to spend the rest of her night in his arms. But she had been trying to look out for him. Not well enough, apparently.

"It's why I don't do parties unless they're for work. Too many bad things that can happen. I thought I was going to lose you, for good."

[singingdrummer]

"You couldn't have known what would happen, Meredith. It's not your fault.. If I'd known Tim would be there, I would've politely declined. I'd had a few beers and apparently it's a potentially fatal mix with that particular pill."

The fact that Tim so willingly took his spot in the band made Ben extremely suspicious. Like he had planned it all.

"I fought.. because there was something worth living for. I was scared, I admit. I felt so weak and nauseous.. But then you came and saved my life."

[highfidelity]

"No matter how pissed I was at you, I wasn't going to leave you there to die."

She was adamant about that. Even if she'd almost punched one of his friends for trying to put his hands on her at the time. They hadn't taken kindly to her coming in and spoiling their party.

"You deserved so much better than those idiots, Ben. I'm glad you finally realized that."

[singingdrummer]

"I remember seeing you walk past everyone, pushing them off you. And that's pretty much my last clear memory from the night."

He owed her. It can't have been easy to go into a place like that and see him all messed up.

"It took me a while but I finally realized, yeah."

[highfidelity]

"Please don't make me do that again. It was terrifying." Meredith was a lover, not a fighter, and certainly not made for what she experienced that night. She exhaled, her body shivering a little just thinking about it.

"I'd be perfectly happy if we never spoke about this again."

[singingdrummer]

"Sorry. No more talking about it.. Let's focus on now and the future, whatever that may be."

He was getting bad flashbacks that he'd much rather ignore. Such stupidity would never happen in his life again. That's the promise he made during his time away.

"I learned my lesson, Meredith. I'm looking towards the future now."

[highfidelity]

"And your future apparently involves me and my tiny apartment?" she said with a chuckle. If he was going to stay long-term they were going to have fun, it wasn't ever built for anyone else to live in. Didn't mean they couldn't manage it, but they would be rather close to one another.

Of course, did he see that as a problem or a pleasant side benefit.

"I wish I had something more exciting to tell you but I don't. My whole life has been about work. The paper's keeping me busy and I kind of wanted the distraction."

[singingdrummer]

"It could. I didn't come here just to see my old neighbourhood, I came here for you."

Ben always imagined driving around the countryside with her, with the top down. He imagined them sharing a flat and making music.

"You deserved a bit of distraction after what happened."

[highfidelity]

If he actually said that she wouldn't be opposed. Meredith always wanted a bigger place, but it was what she could afford when she was just starting out and she'd just never bothered to move.

"I guess we both have to figure some things out," she said, leaning up to kiss his cheek gently. "Slow steps."

[singingdrummer]

"Slow steps. That works for me."

It had been a while since he felt her lips on his skin, and it brought back some fond memories.

"Maybe one day we'll live somewhere bigger. I could help out with your music career, if you want to pursue it. I know some decent people in the business, not just the messy ones."

[highfidelity]

"I don't know," she admitted. "I've always wondered what would have happened. But it's frightening. I can't exactly give up my stable income and hope that I catch a break."

She chuckled at his other comment. "When I bought this place I never expected to have a roommate. It was my first single flat. I'm sure it's a step down from what you're used to."

[singingdrummer]

"I know. It's a tough business, but I want you to know you're talented."

He didn't really think of it as a step down. It's nice and cozy being somewhere smaller for a change. This was the beginning of a new life for him anyway.

"It's nice here. I'm getting ahead of myself."

[highfidelity]

"I appreciate that," she said, kissing his cheek again. "But you know talent doesn't guarantee success. I don't want to end up broke and homeless chasing a dream that may not happen."

That's how she'd started writing in the first place. Wanting to make sure she was supported and could take care of herself, since her career wasn't taking her nearly as far as his had.

[singingdrummer]

"As someone who's seen both the up- and downside of music business, I can say you're wise to think like that. But I hope you'll sing a song or two for me.. Someday. We could make it a duet."

Meredith became one of the best in her trade, too. She never criticized without a valid reason, unlike many other critics out there. She made a good point every time.

[highfidelity]

"Maybe. If the material is right." She was just scared about it, like many other things in her life. That was one of the things that attracted her to him. He was confident to the point of arrogant, seemingly fearless. He didn't care about anything and she cared too much. "I just don't want to embarrass myself, you know?"

[singingdrummer]

"I'll be there to support you. Look at me, if you get nervous."

Ben reached for the guitar again, strumming a few notes. He felt a new idea coming to him, inspired by everything that had happened.

[highfidelity]

"I look at you and I get distracted," Meredith quipped. But once he started playing she leaned back and listened, curious what he was thinking. He was actually very good with that; she hadn't expected he could play multiple instruments.

[singingdrummer]

He continued playing, smiling to himself at her comment. He'd get distracted by looking at her, too. The song came out almost by itself, leading Ben instead of the other way around.

[highfidelity]

She just relaxed and listened to him. Putting a hand on his shoulder to encourage him. He really was talented, and she was glad he'd gotten rid of all of that facade and all the baggage to truly focus on himself and his talents. The same thing she'd told him the night they met.

[singingdrummer]

The touch on his shoulder did work as an encouragement. He played a little longer, glancing at Meredith with that old look of love in his eyes.

"I took your advice, Meredith. I let go of the persona.. It's all me now."