A Night In

[singingdrummer]

 It all started with Ben tugging Meredith onto his lap, lips pressed against hers in a heated kiss. His hands roamed on her figure while his desire for her grew. He had wanted her ever since their first encounter at the bar but Ben never imagined something would actually become of it.

"I want you to know you're not some groupie to me, Meredith. I really want this with you."

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[highfidelity]

“I’m glad to hear that. You never had to pretend with me, Ben. I saw right through it. I love you and not that act.”

[singingdrummer]

"You if anyone could see through it. I don't know why I didn't just drop it completely the moment we got together.. It took a horrible mistake to realize that all I need is you. I don't need some rock star persona."

[highfidelity]

"You never did." Meredith said honestly, shifting to face him a little more. "You were never more attractive or sexier to me than when you were just yourself. What made me go out with you was that you made me laugh, and you looked at me like I was the only woman in that whole bar."

She smiled encouragingly. "It made me feel like the sexiest woman alive when you wanted to be with me."

[singingdrummer]

"Because to me you've always been the only woman."

Ben set the guitar down, shifting to face her. He took her hands between his and just held them for a moment.

"You walked into a room and I'd forget about the world around me. All I saw is you."

[highfidelity]

"You know it's hard to be angry at you when you're so sweet," Meredith admitted, just distracted by him yet again.

[singingdrummer]

"I shouldn't have made you angry in the first place. That's something I'll regret for the rest of my life."

He kissed her hands softly, smiling at her.

[highfidelity]

"The only thing we can do now is pick up the pieces and move on," she said honestly. "As much as I wish things had happened differently...there's no way to change the past."

They'd both have to live with the effects of that night but hopefully they could both move on and go on to better things. She glanced at him for a moment.

"It's getting late. Are you sure you're going to be comfortable out here?"

[singingdrummer]

"You're right, Meredith. All we can do is move on and be better from now on."

The past couldn't be changed, so it's best to focus on the future. Ben wished it could be with her.

"Well.. A bed is always the ideal option. But it's up to you."

[highfidelity]

"You can take the bed. I can take the couch," she said with a soft sigh. She felt sorry for him, in a sense. Not to pity him but she just wished that things had turned out better for him. "Just wake me in the morning, I have to get to work and the only alarm's in there."

[singingdrummer]

"No.. It's your bed, Meredith. I'm not going to chase you out of your own bed. You're a working woman, too."

He could take the couch, if it meant that she gets to sleep well. For a moment he thought she'd meant that they could both sleep in the bed together.

[highfidelity]

"I don't think we'll both fit in the bed unless...it'd be close."

She glanced at him nervously. It was a queen-sized bed and they'd probably have to stay close to one another to avoid either of them getting too close to the edge. It was a kind of intimacy they hadn't shared in a long time.

[singingdrummer]

"I want to be with you.. But I don't want to push you into being physically close, Meredith. Not after what I did to you.. It's completely up to you."

[highfidelity]

She sighed. Reaching for his hand again, as if to try and reassure him because she knew what she said next would hurt. "I don't want you to feel you can't be around me," she said honestly. "It's just...the sexual part I have a problem with. I don't feel desirable anymore. I just don't...want to be hurt like that again."

[singingdrummer]

"I know it's probably hard to believe but if I had a second chance, I'd cherish you in so many ways."

Ben gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Hearing her say that made him realize even more how stupid he had been. That party was the worst idea he could ever have.

"I just hope it's not too late.. Because I love you, Meredith. I want to be with you more than anything."

[highfidelity]

"I love you too. I just...have to learn not to associate what we had with what you did. Right now, those two things are too linked in my head. I can't think about us being together without thinking about after...being afraid the next time I wake up you won't be there."

She exhaled. It was hard to put into words how her mind was working, the self-doubt and nervousness. If it hadn't been her first, or if he'd screwed up on any other night, it'd probably be easier to put behind her. But there was a lot of emotion in that.

"Come on. It really is late. I need a shower and to get to bed. Are you coming?"

[singingdrummer]

"I understand. It takes time.. What I did couldn't have been timed any worse. We shared a special night together and then I ruined everything.."

He nodded and stood up, heading into the bedroom. Ben climbed into bed and laid there waiting for her, staring at the ceiling in deep thought.

[highfidelity]

Meredith showered and changed for bed before she joined him, chuckling softly at how he'd just wound up on her side of the bed. Not that she was complaining. She slipped onto the other side of the bed and tugged the blankets up.

"I don't want this to be awkward between us," she said. "I just don't know how to make it not awkward."

[singingdrummer]

He shifted to get more comfortable, facing her. It was better than his bed at the hideout.

"Let's sleep. That'll be a start."

A small grin flashed on his face as a way to lighten the mood.

[highfidelity]

"Unless you snore. I never did find that out."

She teased with a small smile of her own. She allowed herself to move a little closer to him before she easily drifted off, just hoping he'd still be there when her alarm went off and this wasn't just some figment of her imagination or another chance for him to break her heart.

[singingdrummer]

"No. That'd be one of my old band mates who did that. He'd pass out on the backstage couch."

He laughed softly, staying right there as she moved closer. He boldly draped an arm over her waist, on top of the blankets.

Ben would sleep there the whole night, and help wake her up in the morning. He wasn't about to let her down again.

[highfidelity]

Meredith naturally gravitated toward the big warm thing in her sleep, until the alarm went off and she found herself tucked up against his shoulder. Of course, since he was on her side of the bed, she had to lean over him to swat at the alarm and turn it off. Sighing as she squirmed out of bed, not wanting to wake him up if she didn't have to. She didn't know how long it had been since he'd had a good night's rest.

But she'd be in the shower, singing to herself, whenever he woke up. Everyone always sounded better in the shower.

[singingdrummer]

Ben hadn't slept so good in weeks. He blinked awake after noticing her spot on the bed empty. The faint sound of her singing made him smile, and he laid there listening for a moment.

"She is good."

Waking up in her bed and in her house felt great. He was sure he'd end up on some friend's couch but Meredith showed him kindness.

[highfidelity]

Still oblivious, Meredith came out of the bathroom after having showered and changed for work. She was still trying to make it all work somehow. Smiling when she realized he was still there.

"Hi. Um, how was your night?"

[singingdrummer]

"Better than it has been for a while. I slept like a log."

He returned the smile, stretching his arms. The bed was so comfy he'd have a hard time getting out.

"Off to work? Or do you have time for breakfast?"

[highfidelity]

"You want me to make you breakfast?" she teased, she knew that wasn't what he meant. But she glanced down at her watch to check the time. Meredith was always up and ready to go pretty early.

"I have about 45 minutes. But you probably want to get a shower and get cleaned up. I can just grab something if I need to. I practically live on coffee and yogurt," she said. "And we have to figure out what you're going to do, because I don't have a key for you yet."